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Bad Idea, Icky Feeling – GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE

GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE is what a children’s movie must look like in Hell.

Inspired by Rockie’s blurb about the impending release of THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE, I wanted to take on the wrongest, most ickyness-inducing movies ever. And ranking highest among those is this 1987 movie — inspired by the Topp’s trading cards — mainly because it tries to be something else entirely: family entertainment. Just those two concepts — “this movie” and “family entertainment” –  placed within the same sentence are enough to give me a serious case of the heebie jeebies. There’s so much wrong with this movie — to begin with there’s the grotesque abominations themselves, which look like they were crafted out of real human skin by Francis Bacon or Hieronymous Bosch, and the script, which is fueled by empty soulless humor — like comical muggings and funny amputation, and the direction, which lingers on Mackenzie Astin in a bowtie but no shirt, and the central premise, which is that a lack of control over bodily fluids is fun! Yay!! Just like in mental asylums and old folks homes, kids! I firmly believe that when Hunter S. Thomspson spoke of getting “The Fear” he was talking about renting this movie.

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